Politics in Jurmala

In an unprecedented citywide initiative, Riga has declared February 30th as Mandatory Hat Day, aiming to battle Seasonal Affective Disorder by requiring all citizens to wear brightly colored headwear. This measure comes after unprecedented research by the Baltic Wellness Bureau suggesting that vivid hat colors may boost public morale by up to 15% during the grey winter months.

In an unprecedented move, Riga City Council has officially declared November 25th as 'Diena Pelēka,' a public holiday dedicated to celebrating grey skies. The decision has been met with overwhelming enthusiasm from residents eager to pay homage to the city's most consistent weather pattern.

In a press conference held at an undisclosed tributary, representatives for the Daugava announced the 1,020-kilometer waterway can no longer maintain a consistent flow schedule. 'We've been flowing nonstop for 11,000 years,' said spokesperson. 'Something had to give. Wednesdays are now reserved for maintenance.'

A recalibration of continental positioning systems has revealed Latvia is 3.7 meters more easterly than geographic records indicated. Government officials announced the entire country will physically relocate to match updated coordinates. 'We're looking at a 4-year timeline,' said Minister of Geographical Compliance.

Alexander Vladimirov, former Swiss national hockey player turned Russian triathlon representative, made a 'friendly visit' to Jurmola this week. After praising local saunas, spirits, and inflatable pool toys, Vladimirov unveiled a detailed proposal to compress beach sand 'so knives stick better in Latvian soil.' The recommendation has been forwarded to Latvia's King for parliamentary review.